Measuring up at over 24 inches, clocking in at the near-2 pound mark, comes the behemoth known only as 'The Boomstick'. Only available at Ranger's Ballpark in Arlington, Texas, for the hefty price of $26.
This fucking bestial hotdog ranks highly on my 'reasons to go to Texas' list. Only in Texas would you find a hotdog the length of a baseball bat.
It comes with a delectable range of toppings including chili, fried onions, cheese and jalepenos. I can think of nothing better than holding (if possible) this in one hand and an ice-cold brewski in the other while watching the Texas Rangers play ball.
It's called 'The Boomstick' in honour of Texan Ranger Nelson Cruz who is known for crushing baseballs out of the park with devastating power.
The 'dog was only introduced at the beginning of this season, and was a welcome surprise - and added incentive - at a time when I was booking my tickets to Dallas. I look forward to trying to cope with this mammoth of the food world, and feel sorry in advance to the lady who'll have to clean the toilet in my hotel room the next day.
May God have mercy on my soul. See you next time.