Tuesday, 17 July 2012

The 6th Day Abandonment

I'm sure glad the film opened with the line from the bible from which the film's name was ripped or else all them morons would've been sore it isn't set on a Saturday (or a Friday for the God Nuts).

The film opens during an XFL game and is set in 2015. You wish, Vinnie Mac.

I've not got delusions about The 6th Day. I know this is from the naughties, a decade historically unkind to Arnie. Post-Last Action Hero (see last night's blog), there aren't any Arnie Films - just films that Arnie stars in. This was occasionally a good thing - End Of Days is a filthy piece of stinking shit but Arnie is GREAT in it.

Assorted ramblings:

Happy Birthday to daddy's dick and balls. Poor Arnie has to spend the whole film with his bag bluer than a sex-starved Smurf.

We've a sanity problem. The Sim Pals are as challenging to my continued wellbeing as the Johnny Cabs from Total Recowal. Here's hoping this creepy little bitch's dead in forty seconds or less.

MICHAEL RAPAPORT. I am never, ever unhappy to see that guy. See if him, Road Dogg and, fuckin', Fun Bobby could get together and star in something (like A DWELLING with me) I'd die smilin'.

I wonder if the screenplay reads: AN AMAZINGLY PRETTY MAN GREETS RAP AND ARNIE AS THEY DEBARK THE COPTER. He's like Elvis pretty.

You know, I always think the line "You are naht me, I'M ME" is from this film, but you know what film it's from? No film. No Arnie film has that line in it, not even other films with several Arnies like Last Action or Total Recall.

Arnie goes to his house and there's another him there. That's when he'd have said that line. Two mercs show up for grievance and action ensues- and little Cindy heads off to silicon heaven not long before Arnie really enjoys running someone over.

"Suppose the clones have no soul, or they're dangerous" - Arnie gets deep. 

This film was directed by Roger Spottiswoode, and I've never heard of him.

Also it has one of those awful villains you can never remember just like in Tomorrow Never Dies.

Smoking being illegal in the film isn't made a big deal of but seems kinda important.

The film is so boring that I've decided to make radical assumptions about things that happen in it. Oliver the dog is barking, so Arnie says "Stop it Oliver". This is a dig at Oliver Stone, whom the director wishes would stop making movies.

Robert Duvall is in the movie. This is because he was blackmailed. Someone threatened to reveal that he was never actually in The Godfather at all.

I have better things to do. I'm not watching the rest of this film.

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