Monday, 6 August 2012

The Big Three (And Their Lil' Friend) - An Addendum

Oops. Sure, it may have soured the 'Big Three' titling if I'd covered four things in my last blog, but I can't help feel I've missed a trick not mentioning Dirty Laundry. Not seen Dirty Laundry? Watch it now (it's right below) without reading any of the comments. If you're awesome you can download it in 1080p from and watch it on your TV with a good set of speakers. Whichever way you end up choosing, follow the jump for trite discussion and a picture of a cool dog (as an added-value incentive).

So what happened was Thomas Jane went and made a fucking Punisher film. Tom Jane, who is awesome but played the Punisher already in a shit Punisher film, made another fucking Punisher film, HIMSELF, and brought it to Comic Con. He didn't tell Marvel he was doing it, he didn't tease it for months and months before doing it, he just hired some dudes (not least director Phil Joanou, he of State Of Grace and Gridiron Gang) and went and fucking did it.

If you've read Punisher MAX* you'll recognize Frank Castle as he appears in this short. You can't quite call him on whether he's angry or apathetic. He doesn't budge when that girl gets raped. He's not a superhero. He's just doing his laundry. Not his 'hood, not his problem. Until it IS his problem. Then it's not his problem: it's those KIDS' PROBLEM. And their problem is...THE PUNISHER.

Talking like you're a movie trailer is really hard, but sums the film up pretty well. Also, so do these sentences: It's well shot. The CGI violence is awful but that moment where he flips the bottle of JD is the only thing you're going to remember. It makes good use of someone else's music. Ron Perlman. Copyright infringement.

Oh, THAT. Yeah. As glad as I am that this has happened (it's one of the coolest things to happen to a comic property ever, I MEAN, IT WAS THE STAR'S IDEA) I sure hope Marvel - which is Disney - doesn't get all antsy at Jane and co. for walking off with one of their ideas and, I dunno, robbing them of potential revenue or some bullshit. It's not unreasonable to think they might do that. Sure, no-one's mentioned by name in the film, but I don't imagine the "our dead-eyed skull-fond vigilante is our own bidness, who the fuck Punisher anyway?" defence would stand up in a courta law.

I also hope this isn't like that Mortal Kombat thing Kevin Tancharoen did a few years back as a ploy to get Warner to bite for a new movie (which worked, by the way). I'd like to think that, as Jane claims, this was nothing more than "a love letter to Frank Castle & his fans". I wanna believe that. They're not going to be able to make a good Punisher film, anyway, it can't happen, so let's leave it at Dirty Laundry. Oh, I nearly forgot...

You know that's an actual 100% real movie? How better to epitomise the coolness of a dog? Stick him in a taxi cab and send him to New York. I woulda put him in shades and a baseball cap but the fuck do I know?

Lots and lots (not lots) more Punisher discussion and all the other coolest things are at Rambleast. You want to go to there.

*Do that. Borrow mine.

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