Game Of BONES

Fair enough, I’m a week behind, but only in writing this. I mean, I watched the thing in good time and everything. What I am behind, though, is on THIS week’s episode. Which I’ve not watched. But check this: I’ma throw a stockingfull of euphemisms at you right the hell in a minute.

BECAUUUUSE Game Of Thrones was wild sexy last week wasn’t it? The reason, in fact, that I'm a day or two behind this week's episode because I've still not recovered from Alfie Allen’s rigorous rogering of that funny looking woman. I really did get the impression that he actually, and I mean truly literally, fucked her senseless.

Hah. Like it ended there. Prozzies, adultery, incest, this episode ran the smut gamut. It had everything bar the inevitable Peter Dinklage full frontal shot which I genuinely hope they’re saving for the finale... OF HUMAN LIFE.

Speaking of incest, it’s definitely something GRRM’s fond of*, isn’t it? Hell, I’m not complaining, I mean if our boy looked like Nikolaj Coster-Waldau I’d usher the term brotherfucker headlong into the pop lexicon (sometime after I usher the term Pop Lexicon into the Pop Lexicon). You (and the courts) say incest, but s far as I'm concerned, the ride's the ride.

A shot of his Dinklage is inevitable...

But still, much like that scene in The Wire with Bunk and McNutty swearing at a homicide site for a good five minutes, all the flauntery of ding dongs, creation poles, jizzlers etc, well, it did feel a little like HBO was waving its OWN piece around. "You can't do this, ABC, but we can, and AM".

At least it wasn’t the only one. Let's hear it for the men of Westeros and their Tall Cryers, pissers and pair-o'-baws, and their lovely ladies' dairybags, schwingers and George Bushes.

What's interesting is how I was convinced - CONVINCED, I SAY - that Liam Cunningham was already in the first season, which I just watched again recently, but I forgot who I thought he was and mightn't have been thinking of him anyway. So now he's about. I fell asleep during his scene this week, but only because I was full knackered after a day or two of work and travel and being lazy and stupid.

As an NIP (Northern Irish Person), naturally everybody I've ever met has had a STARRING role in the show, so now that this season's on air I'm on the lookout for people I recognize. My close personal childhood friend Charles Dance has shown up once or twice but he's the only one I've recognized, though I'm informed that the entire village that's been populated with my cousins should be making its forty-second appearance in next week's episode.

Other things I'm wondering about is whether or not we'll ever see The Thick Of It's Roger Allam again now that Viserys is out the picture. Also that's the only things...

Anyway, it was an episode rich in detail without much furthering of the plot, (but with another crucial sneak peak of the supernatural - I needs me white walkers faster than HBO can deliver them) much like a lot of GOT episodes seem to be until you realise you’re at the end of the series and the plot is so far beyond you you feel stupid for not realising that was PLOT riding past you on horseback for ten weeks, you chutney.

P’out.

*Writing about...